My Dee-side has kept my psychy anchored and centered

I don't know whether any of you fellow t-girls have found this or not, but I've found that "being Dee" and exploring that side of me, has really helped to keep my psychy "centered and anchored" over the past 12 months.

The past 2 years have been very bad years for me from a career and income-earning perspective and the past 9 months have been particularly bad...and I'm not talking "slight-day-to-day-problems", I'm talking career death, sell the house, no income sort of stuff. I won't go into the boring details (see * below), but it did create a need and an opportunity for me to analyse and re-assess most aspects of my life and of "me". It's really during that process that I for the first time realised that I was transgendered and that it wasn't simply a fetish that would disappear or could be controlled.

If you've read my website, you'll know that I am really comfortable with who I am. But the amazing thing has been that it's discovering this side of me and expressing it through dressing up, having transformations and going out that I've been able to stay "sane" and centered. And some days it's really the only "thing" or interest that's kept me going. It's probably not totally a good thing, because there is no doubt that I spend too much time focused on "Dee" and my transgenderism. But at the same time it's created a calm acceptance in me of who I am. And knowing who I am and what makes me tick, has really helped me to have the energy to keep going forward. Things like having a transformation at Transfabulous, having photographs taken, developing a website, taking exotic dance classes...these have all helped and continue to help give me a strong psychy.

And then through my t-girl interests, I have also met the most amazing people over the past 12 months. People who are interesting, intelligent and great to be with or talk to. People who accept me and value me as a person even if I am transgendered. I can honestly say that I feel closer to my new friends than I do to most of my "old" friends. I hope I can maintain these friendships...some "real-time" and some are "online" friendships...for the rest of my life. All of you have been an enormous support to me in so many ways and several of you have played just the HUGEST roles in helping me understand myself and grow and develop as a person. And I love talking and communicating with all of you...I apologise for being an "email-pest" at times.

So here's to a "centered-psychy Dee" with lovely new friends who she will never forget.

But I now also need to restore the balance in my life. Without in anyway giving up either my Dee-friends or my interests in expressing my Dee-side, I now also need to bring back and refocus on the other things in my life that are important to me...my wife, my kids, my surfing, my music. So it would seem that, at the mature age of 49, I am finally ready to live as the total me. And with the right balance and focus, I know that my career will get back on track...maybe not tomorrow, but soon.
When all the elements are re-aligned, I'll truly be a happy girl and guy.

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* About why I've been having such a shit 2 years career-wise:

For those of you who have any interest in this sort of stuff...I went to an astrologer and she was the first person who had an explanation for what I've been going through...a logical explanation. I was always a major skeptic about astrology (actually I didn't believe in at all). Thought it was mumbo jumbo. But I don't think so anymore. The problems I've been having after years and years of business and financial success, were starting to make me seriously doubt myself and my abilities. The astrologer was able to put it into a context and a logical framework that made me understand what was happening to me, and why. I've used what I learnt from her, and looked back at the previous time I went through something similar (25 years ago) and the same logic (planet and moon alignments) applied then. Mmmmm...makes a skeptic into a believer.