Saturday, June 25, 2005

Fun night out at Cube Nightclub in Canberra



Well, I've been out and about again. Yep, I'm finally getting to go out en femme almost weekly and off course I just love that.

Last Thursday evening...yet again in Canberra on business...I got to my hotel room and thought, "Right, tonight it's off to Cube Nightclub". I'd heard that it was a very lively club, that it was Canberra's gay nightclub and that it was tranny-friendly.

So after getting dressed, I snuck down the emergency stairwell. Yes, I'm still a bit nervous about walking out through the hotel lobby...especially one where they know me very very well as I'm a weekly visitor. Anyhow, the emergency stairwell was supposed to bring me quickly and unobserved to the safety of the dark car park...and off course I walked straight into a guy about to leave the hotel by the same side entrance as I was. He blinked, "double-taked" and then held the door open for me!!!

Cube was great. Lively and excellent for people-watching. But off course at 10pm at night (which is early for Cube), instead of finding a gay nightclub, I walked straight into a heterosexual early-twenties crowd. They were very cool about me though. No-one stared or sniggered...they just accepted me as just a "regular" patron. I guess people (gay and heterosexual)who frequent Cube are used to and accepting of t-girls and crossdressers.

Off course, a guy tried to pick me up. It was nice having someone to talk to, but I had to eventually point out that I was happily married to a beautiful woman. Although I didn't go to Cube to be picked up and although there was no way I was going "home" with anyone...not guy or woman, it was sorta nice to have someone find me attractive as a "woman"...even if he was mainly interested in my type of woman. Pity his conversation wasn't more interesting...he kept telling me how intelligent he was, but I dunno about that...I must be thick to not have noticed how intelligent he was.

And then I bumped into Szusza, who I had met in Sydney on my first ever outing when Cyanne and Kat took me with them to the Gender Centre's "Frolic" evening. It was great to see Szusza and we'll definitely catch up on one of my other Canberra-nights. In fact, Szusza told me that I need to stretch my comfort zone a bit and she plans to take me to dinner somewhere safe, but less "comfortable/easy" than Cube. I'm ready!!...well provided I can sneak out of the hotel unseen.

And then I still want to meet up with Simone as well. So soon I'll have plenty of friends in Canberra.

There's another and probably longer version of my night-out (and photos of my outfit) on my website. Have a look at the "Blog Journal" page at www.deefemina.com

Monday, June 13, 2005

One very happy and contented Tranny

Finally I'm feeling more peaceful, happy and contented. Those of you who know me fairly well or communicate with me often will know that I've often been depressed or at least "down" over the past 12 months.

I'm happy to report that that aspect is behind me, for the moment at least. I'm working on a meaningful, challenging and stimulating project again. Although it's only medium term (probably 3 to 6 months), I do feel that I'm being recognised and valued again. And off course I'm earning a decent income again.

And then, I've discovered, explored and expanded so much about myself in the past 12 months. It would be fair to say that I'm not really the same person anymore...well at a deep fundamental level I am, but I've added additional dimensions...and I love that.

Not only am I now starting to venture out en femme, on my own, but I've generally grown and developed as a person since I've started to give expression to my feminine transgendered side. And off course the crossdressing opportunities are part of that expression.

The new friends I've made over the past 12 months are very special to me, and each one has contributed to my personal growth. Thanks girls, girls and guys...you've all really helped and supported me in different ways.

So yes, for now, this is one very happy tranny...both as a tranny and as a person generally.

Saturday, June 11, 2005


Monroes in Melbourne Posted by Hello

T-Girl Solo Night-Out in Melbourne

I am again travelling on frequent business trips, and while I don't like being away from my family, I am really enjoying the opportunities to dress up and go out en femme.

Dee is getting plenty of Dee-time again!!

So last night I was in Melbourne, all on my lonesome self. With a bit of pre-planning I was staying in a quiet boutique hotel in St Kilda and Denise (a Melbourne t-girl) had made some suggestions regarding tranny-friendly places open on a Thursday night. I was ready!!

After a lovely relaxing dinner in drab, I headed back to my hotel. Did my close-shave thing, then lay back in a nice warm bath...so relaxing. Now I was ready for my makeup. I really enjoy the whole process and experience of doing my makeup...really just makes me feel so feminine when I'm doing that and I love the progressive transformation. And I'm slowly getting better at it, and that makes it even better...experimenting with my eyes, trying new things...just love it, love it!!

Then time to get dressed...Mmmm, stockings...what can I say...another wonderful feeling and off course I love the look. Anyway, after the hour-long makeup process, the dressing is quick, and so there I was ready for the evening.

The outfit....same black cami top and plum "tie-in-the-front-under-the-boobs" long sleeved top I've worn in my last few outings (I had actually bought a new top...a beautiful one...but I thought that the Melbourne night air may be a bit chilly for that), and a new above the knee black skirt. Fairly conservative look, but stylish and still eye catching.

Ready for the still scary, experience of leaving the safety of the hotel room and venturing down the lift and through the hotel lobby. And off course, as the lift door opens in the lobby, I would have to stare straight into the faces of two guys waiting to enter the lift...squeeze past them and then walk through the fairly busy lobby....it was supposed to be empty at 10pm in the evening!!!...out the door and onto the busy Fitzroy Street sidewalk. Heartbeating, trying not to make eye contact with passersby, but then I do because I want to know whether anyone is looking at me and whether I've been outed. Anyway, as Cyanne and Bobbi have both taught me....stomach in, shoulders back, tits out!!! And Katya's advice...look confident! See, I do listen and learn.

Into a cab and off to Diva's in Commercial Road where I was going to have a few drinks, watch a drag show and hopefully chat to a few interesting people. I wonder what cab drivers think?...a chick hops into the back seat and then says "Diva's in Commercial Road" in a deep man's voice. Mmm...I guess that's not the most unusual thing they've every encountered.

Anyway, Diva's was really quiet when I arrived. In fact I was the only patron at 10pm!! Had a few drinks, and then another vodka...and finally at 11pm the place started filling up and the two drag queens arrived. They were both very attractive and femme looking. I received several "glares" from them though...I was the only t-girl there and I don't think the two performers welcomed my presence at all. I'm guessing that they like to be the only "femme" presence at Diva's and receive all the attention. Not that anyone was paying any attention to me *sad face*(....and here's a sideline typical "Dee-distraction-thought"...although I don't want to have to fend off any male admirers and although I will sweetly decline any invitation to whatever....I do still want to be noticed and receive attention!! Contradiction? You bet, but as a t-girl I'm filled with "contradictions".)

Anyway, I enjoyed the drag show. It was great and it's fascinating to see how feminine their movements and lip synchs are. Really enjoyed it. But after the first set, I decided it was time to move on. Didn't want to go to the Xchange down the road cause I was told that it's a bit of a meat market, and I wasn't in the mood "to be the meat". Mmm...another contradiction...I want to be noticed and receive attention, but yet I don't want to go to a "meat-market". I suppose that's not all that contradictory...most real women probably have the same feelings and reaction.

Well, it was back into a cab which I directed to a restaurant / cocktail bar called Monroes in Fitzroy Street, St Kilda...about a block away from my hotel. Actually, as I discovered afterwards when I walked back to my hotel...a very loooooong nerve-wracking block away from the hotel!!

Denise had told me that t-girls often have dinner at Monroes and that they were very accepting of trannies. And they were. The waiters, both male and female, were very friendly and chatted to me as if there was nothing unusual about me at all. I sat at the bar and had a glass of wine. The one waitress kindly took a photograph of me. Actually two, becuase she said "Come on, let me take another one with you smiling this time".

Then I got brave and went and sat outside at one of the sidewalk tables so that I could watch the passing parade while enjoying my wine. It's a wonderful feeling...although still slightly scary for me...to sit out in full view to the passersby. One guy who walked past instantly "outed" me. He obviously is an experienced tranny-chaser. He walked past, looked at me and then turned round, came up to me and said "Hi darling, would you like some company?" Off course I did want chatting company, but decided that it would not be wise to engage a tranny-chaser in conversation. So I smiled and sweetly said "No thank you." See Cyanne, I told you I had not been a naughty girl on my night out.

It's interesting to me that the only people who really noticed and outed me where two different sets of women at the restaurant. They spotted and outed me instantly! The moment I walked in I saw them looking at me and whispering amongst themselves. Off course I know that I'm not really passable...at 6'3" in my high heels I most definitely don't blend in. And another contradiction...on one hand I do want to be noticed for who and what I am, but at the same time I want to imagine that I'm totally passable in which case I wouldn't be noticed for who and what I am...silly me, hey! Anyway, I'm starting to get used to being noticed as a t-girl and I'm becoming more relaxed and comfortable with that.

After finishing my wine, I headed back to the hotel...it was now 1am in the morning. But St Kilda was still very busy and I had to walk along a very very busy sidewalk. Outside one of the night clubs my one shoe slipped off and I had to bend down to tuck my heel back in...right in front of a group of young guys standing at the entrance to a club. Being noticed and outed by groups of young guys is actually the thing that I dread most...women and older guys and gay guys don't bother me, but I really feel uncomfortable when I approach groups of young straight guys. Do all t-girls feel this way? Or in fact, maybe most women feel this way? I don't know, but I'd be very interested to hear from others whether this is a general feeling.

Entering the hotel I was yet again questioned by a security guard...I seem to be attracting the suspicious attention of hotel night-time security guards (see me Canberra hotel experience below). I'm guessing that, from their perspective, a 6'3" tranny entering a hotel late at night is usually there to earn some extra money. The thought that that may be what they are thinking of me is both irritating and flattering.

Safely back in the hotel room...a very happy and contented Dee!!

Friday, June 10, 2005


Me at Tilley's in Canberra Posted by Hello

Monday, June 06, 2005

Night out in our "lively" capital

Well, I've just had a very interesting night out in Canberra (our capital city for those of you that are non-Australians). Firstly, Canberra is very quite...and I mean veeeeeery quiet....on a Monday night. But I was here on business and it was such an ideal time to get dressed en femme and go out for a drink.

So I did my makeup, got dressed and then strolled out of the hotel at 9pm. That all went fine. I then drove to "Tilleys", the only tranny-friendly place open on a Monday night. Arrived, walked in...got a few glances...ordered a drink and then went and sat outside. Had a ciggie and quietly had my glass of wine. All very uneventful but I was enjoying every minute of it...just the being "Dee" out in public bit.

And then it got interesting. A rather strange and somewhat drunk lady arrived. She bummed a cigarette from me, then some money for a glass of wine. Then she chatted away to me...which was sorta nice because I was getting bored sitting outside on my own. She tried to sell me her sunglasses...at 10pm at night!! I declined sweetly. Then I noticed she was wearing some interesting rings. I ended up buying a really nice big one from her.

And, this is were it gets a bit strange...she then wanted to give me a passionate kiss. I literally had to forcibly keep her mouth away from mine. After giving my "falsies" a squeeze, she then wanted to sit on my lap....it was actually quite funny. I eventually had to say "Now come on, stop being a naughty girl. You sit there on your chair and just drink your wine." This really naughty throaty laughter came from her. Anyway, then she behaved herself.

After that I'd had enough "excitement" for the evening, so I headed back to the hotel. Parked my car...again all very uneventful. Then I proceeded to the hotel lobby, only to find the manager and several other people at the front door discussing some or other problem. My nerve deserted me, so I went and stood around the corner and had a cigarette. And that's where the night security guard then came and "investigated" me with his torch. I was obviously looking very suspicious. In fact he no doubt thought I was a lady of the night loitering outside the hotel hoping to sneak in...and off course he was right, in a manner of speaking!!!...hahahah. I have no idea whether he "picked" me as a tranny or not, but I then "had to" head in through the front door so as to stop "loitering". It was really quite scary walking straight pass the "straight" manager, several staff and hotel guests.

All round a very interesting evening with several more firsts for me!!!

I'll post some photos of me at the restaurant, Tilley's, in the next few days or so.